skyeo’s blog

I find that I do not have to give reason to everyone who asked me questions. What's the point of telling when they were being told.

After reading the blog, I got very sad that it became like this. Why people chooses their life that way? What's their reason for doing so? What about the people who are still with them, staying and supporting?

I choose this road so that I will not feel sad or regret in the future. But I never regretted choosing this road. The only thing that's left with regret was that I did not settle it well before coming out.

What I need now is to concentrate with my works. Work till late and just work. And I hate waiting. How long can I wait? I don't even know the reason I brought this up.

But please, stand up again. I would like to see it someday.

 Situation gone worse. You can feel the desperation atmosphere everywhere and if you breathe in, you choke. Desperation reach to the top. Selfishness stinks in hazardous level. I wonder what this person has turned into. Someone she does not recognised? How is she feeling now? Anybody out there that could answer to her piled up dreams? Situation must have been bad that she forced herself into this monster-being. Or maybe this is the time of the little monster in her inner spirit rise? I can see that she is struggling just like wanting to get out of a quick sand. But I can also see that she is hesitated to reach out for helping hand. I wonder what is she thinking.

 When she was young, she always got the love from her dad. She was always placed as the favourite little girl of her dad. Whenever her dad went outstation, night and day her dad will be thinking of his little girl. She knew this and she was happy and proud to be showing this off in front of her siblings.

 Every year she celebrated her birthday with a big bash. Relatives and friends would come over to celebrate for her birthday. But her parents must have been wrong to think that this little girl loves a big bash birthday parties. Although for a short moment during candles blowing she may have the attention, but other than that, she really did not enjoy birthday with people she was not close to. Whenever it's present time, she knew which present is new and which is a hand-me-down presents.

 From here, I could clearly see that this little girl is filled with discontentment from young. She is getting what is needed, attention. She did not asked for much, but when it's time, she expect you to submit or give. She seems to have short span of focus and whenever she losses it, she will crave for more in order to satisfy herself. Her aim is to get what she wants. I can't say she is a bad girl because sometimes she knows when to be considerate. I heard one of her reason for not in the liking for big birthday bash was because she wanted to spend the time with her own family eating. But another reaoson was because she said she would rather use those money spent to have a luxurious meal with her friends. Is she so complicated since then?

According to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who prefer:

a) Blues, jazz, classical and folk music seem to be intelligent, tolerant and politically liberal.

b) Country and religious tend to be cheerful and conventional

c) Heavy metal lean towards being physically active, curious risk-takers.

d) Rap/hip-hop and dance music are outgoing, agreeable people who generally eschew conservative ideals.

How true this research? Ask yourself.

                                                                                                       *Readers Digest, July 2005 edition.

I have been reading the Book of Hebrew (New Living Translation version) for the past few days. I have not touch or do my quiet time for ages and I guess I should pick it up soon enough. I found a website from the Internet that provide free Bible reading and I thought it would be good that I can read it when I'm at work (so that I have no excuse that I do not have any Scripture with me).

I have never really studied the book of Hebrew before but this time whenever I read it, it does struck me. In Hebrews 5, God is telling Christioan to grow spiritually and it says, that many of learnt about Scripture for many years but yet to understand the way to apply it into our lives.

There can be many ways designed for us to fall but there is always one way for us to turn back to God. It seems harder but in actual fact, it is a lot more easier. We always complain that we are forced to choose and after choosing certain things, we complaint on the road we chose when in the 1st place, God already design the path for us to stay on track. It may seem forceful, but less does one know that God is actually giving us opportunity to choose Him. Isn't it obvious of God's way? On your left road, you see many road signs and on your right, there's only one. Human are just too complicated. If we just choos ethe right side of the road, would we have end up like this?

But of course God gave us free will to choose, to choose what is right. We will definitely bang onto certain walls and get some injuries before we realised how far we went. Only one reminder, remember to turn back to God and do not purposely choose or taste the wrong road.

After so long, now I'm finally back for blogging.So many things had happened but all will only be conclude in one sentence.

"Because of one, I made many feel sad."

When you know someone care for you so much and you yourself cares a lot about that person, you know you're in love. When a man wants to protect you so much. This is happiness? There will be only one answer. You know you will never find any better person than this.

Don't get me wrong if ever your name is randy. I don't mean to insult this name but as most of you should know, randy besides being a name for a person, it also means a person full of sexual desire. Anyway, my topic isn't discussing about the name and the other meaning of 'randy'.

It was yesterday when I was in KTM and I saw this Japanese man talking to a Malay girl. Maybe I stereotyped. By the first glance I felt that the Jap man is 'randy'. The way he talked to that girl is so 'randy'. Oh, they just met at the train station by the way. So this Jap man was like asking the girl where she stays and what time she always go home. As you guessed it, this girl told her everything and said to that man, "Oh, you are so brave to move around in KL when this is only your 3rd day in Malaysia!" This girl is not so smart after all.

Then this man was asking the girl to teach her some malay words by asking some questions. He has a notebook and this makes it very convincing that he is a tourist. One evident that makes me believe that he is 'randy' was when he asked the girl how to say "no smoking" in Malay. When the girl told her "Jangan Merokok", this man took out his pen and wrote on his note book. Nothing strange? You're wrong. If he is a tourist, would he know how to spell "J.a.n.g.a.n M.e.r.o.k.o.k"? He's a con man.

But maybe he is really a tourist. I do not know. Maybe I'm being too stereotyped on tourists talking closely to local girls. Three possible results on this incidence:

a) The Japanese man is either a real tourist or a 'randy',

b) The Malay girl is not smart,

c) I am too busy body that I heard every conversations they had.

Have you ever have a passion and you believed you could do it? I have fews of them. Beside singing, my other passion I thought was writing. The word "thought" already show to you that I'm not really a good writer.

I'm not too sure of what I want to write and what my readers expect from my writings. Vocabulary has always been a nother problem to me and what more about grammar. I'm just so pissed with myself because I could not achieve my passion.  

People say as long as you have passion together with your hardwork, you will find your interest and eventually you will see improvement. But I do not think of the same. Not all with hardwork and passion can achieve their passion. You need to know different types of communications targeted at different audience. You need brain. You need to think fast. You need to adapt to alien situations quick.

I tried to help my colleague to edit his newsletter. Judging from my tone of "passion" speech delivery above, you know I was not too happy about my own standard and works.

Now I want to read more so that I can write better.

 I had lunch with my colleague today. I was not so close to her but I felt that I can share things with her. Although I did not do so for today's lunch, but in return, she shared a lot to me.

 She's a lady of 30 but yet looked very active and not like any other "super auntie" women. When she told me her husband is 15 years older than her, I was a bit shocked. 15 years of gap is like you a wife of your old uncle. But somehow, there's something special about this couple. They are very loving and the husband defines what my title says.

 According to my friend, Kim, she knows she couldn't find any better man than her husband. That's when she knows she couldn't let go of him. Her husband can be most girls' dream guy (or man). He never complains even when things got out of his way. He will always send her wife to work then off from work and make sure she is safe (I'm not saying this type of man is a real man, the point is, he never complains). Even when Kim drives, he will always make sure that her wife reaches her destination safely by always giving a phone call. I know many of you may think that you are also one of them.

 But when I talked to Kim, I can see the happiness in her eyes. Those pair of eyes filled with joy and love from the husband is my first time witnessing it. I couldn't be more than happy for Kim. I did not envy but certainly there is hope that I can be her. A man who does not complains.

 Then as I think deeper, I was also reminded that it's not only the husband that plays the whole drama. I believed Kim is doing many good jobs as a wife. She is a very reasonable person and although sometimes she may go crazy (as in, super funny) a bit, but she understands the whole situation and the people. A good drama needs not only one good actor, but it need the whole settings and extras to complete it.

 One of the most valuable lessons you can learn is through people. It's for you to decide whether you want to be on the good fence or the bad fence. 

I want birthday cakesssssssssssssss.... sigh...